Regulations of Bad Humor
by Ersuela
Summary: Tyson had thought camp would be great, until he found out a certain blue-haired teen was his camp counselor. Ahem – attention. Counselors are NOT permitted to make out with the campers. I repeat, they are NOT. Kai/Tyson, AU
1. Rule 1: know your audience

Author's Notes: Oh, for fuck's sake, man. x.x You won't believe the bitch of a time I'm having writing 'When Darkness Falls'. I need a break from it – don't bite my head off for this. I need sap, lovelies. Sap and humor and drama all rolled into one. WDF doesn't do that for me right now. =/ Anyway, yet again I come to you with a Kai/Tyson story. . I am evil. Fear the almighty Firefly-chan and wither in her grasp. XD Bow before my greatness. O.o; Anyway, lovelies, this should be fun. ^^ Just hang in there, okay? I'm still alive.

Am I the only one who's noticing this, but isn't the Beyblade section polluting itself up with bad fiction and Mary-Sue's? God save us. x.x 

Disclaimer: Never have, never will. Unless someone happens to have a spare million lying around? XP

NOTES: POV switches back and forth from Tyson to Kai throughout the chapters. Sorry. ^^

Ages (as of this chapter):

Tyson – 16

Max – 15

Rei – 16

Kai - 19

  
WARNINGS: the following will contain eventual yaoi and strong language. AU, as well. Thank you much. x.x

Regulations of Bad Humor

Chapter One

By Firefly-chan

__

Dude, what the fuck am I doing here?

I let a frown replace my temporary smile as I stepped down from the large, bumpy-as-all-hell school bus. I was beginning to regret my lengthy decision of attending summer camp—I had figured that the camp would be almost near to empty since I had thought that many people didn't like to do this anymore. But, uh, I was wrong. Very wrong. Dead wrong, in fact. No, actually, I was just sadly, sadly mistaken.

Hundreds of people were spread out amongst the campgrounds—many of which I recognized from school, and many of which I did not. I growled, pulling off the headphones of my CD player from my head. Well, this was just great. My original intentions of going to this camp were that I'd have a nice peaceful, quiet summer away from the bothers of annoying people.

My intentions suck.

Well, at least I was still away from the supreme god-awful annoyance known as parents. Oh, yes. I was safe here—away from those psycho weirdo people. Okay, maybe they aren't exactly insane. But they bother the hell out of me. And now I had the chance to be away from them… for the whole summer. Life is good. Or… partially good. Whatever.

I scanned the large crowd for a friendly face I knew back from my high school, or someone I knew at least a little better than the ground. Haha. The ground, get it? Okay, nevermind. Inside joke. I may tell you later when I'm more in the mood. I sighed in defeat when I didn't see anyone that I considered a friend, not anyone that was actually more of an acquaintance. 

"So," I rocked back on my heels, adjusting the heavy duffel back over my shoulder, "now what do I do?"  
  
I had meant it as a question to myself, but—uh—the person standing behind me (who must've just gotten off the bus) answered it, "Oh, you must be new to camp, eh? We stay on the campgrounds until the counselors tell us to do otherwise. They'll call off our names and assign us to a cabin."  


That made sense. Psh.

I turned around, an inquiring eyebrow raised at the person who had spoken to me. He was a little shorter than I was—blue eyes, blond hair. I recognized him almost immediately. He was a freshman at the high school I went to… a year younger than me, but in the same history class as I was. Usually, I didn't like to conference with freshmen. But I was desperate, and I needed someone who knew the camp way better than I did.

"Hey," I said, offering him a lopsided smirk and my hand. "I'm Tyson Kinomiya, and you're Max Tate, aren't you? From my history class?"  


Max nodded his head, giving my hand a good shake before releasing it. "Yeah, that'd be me. I thought I knew you from somewhere."

I stuck close to Max as he led me through the crowd and into the middle of the campgrounds. The camp was large, no doubt, but it had a very weird name. Camp Greenlake. Where the hell did they come up with that name? As far as I know, there is no lake called Greenlake twenty miles outside of Tokyo. But the campgrounds were made up of nothing but benches pulled on either side of a large piece of pavement with a flagpole in the middle of it. Farther off, to the left, I could make out the hint of cabins. And to the right, I saw the same thing.

I wondered briefly where everything else went, but my thoughts were silenced when someone began speaking through a megaphone.

"Attention all campers!" I swiveled my head towards the source of the noise, finding a young-looking woman standing on a large wooden crate. "Welcome to Camp Greenlake! I haven't got much time, so I'm just going to take you over the basics and the layout of the camp. To your left, you have the boys' cabins. No females are allowed to go to that side of the camp. Same with the right—the girls' cabins—no males are allowed on that side of the camp. Farther down, to my north—" she pointed as she spoke, "is the cafeteria and the field. As for the rules, I'm sure most of you know them by now. Lights out at nine, you awaken promptly at eight-thirty. And, please, for the love of God, keep your hands to yourself. Anyway, your cabin counselors will go over the more in-depth rules once you are assigned to your cabin."

She smiled, giving a short wave before stepping off the crate and handing the megaphone to a man standing behind her. He didn't even bother with the crate.

"Okay," he began loudly, looking down at a clipboard he held, "we have 150 campers this year. Which makes quite a lot less than last year, actually. There are roughly 75 people per girls' camp and per boys' camp. Four of you will be assigned into one of the fifteen cabins on your side, depending on your sex. You will have a counselor in with you amongst that four, as we had several problems last year with sleeping behaviors. Now, beginning in alphabetic order for the boys' side, here is the cabin list…"

I listened closely for a good five minutes, before the dumbass finally said my name. I perked at the sound one of the other names, though. Rei Kon. I knew him! Quite well, actually. I smirked, adjusting my duffel bag again before starting off towards my cabin with the rest of the group. I was assigned to cabin seven. Besides Rei and myself, there were two other people's names I didn't recognize, and our counselor… Oh, I can't remember his name either…

Something with a 'K', maybe? I think—oh, well. Whatever. I'll find out soon enough.

It took ten damn minutes just to reach the god-forsaken cabin. Ten minutes! Just to get from the campgrounds to cabin seven. Wow, that's a pain in my ass. It'll probably take twenty minutes just to get to my cabin to the cafeteria. And I have to do this every day? Jeez. What the hell is this? A fitness camp? Psh, I think not.

I wiped the sweat from my brow, smiling triumphantly when I stopped in front of the steps that led up to my cabin door. The cabin wasn't all that big—it looked roomy and comfy, though. I suppose it really didn't need to be that big, anyway, if it was only meant to hold five people and five beds. 

Pushing open the door to the cabin, I took a cautious step inside. At first, it appeared to be empty. But then I made out the form of someone towards the end of the cabin in the semi-darkness. Before voicing a greeting, I took a look around my surroundings. It was fairly nice… almost bedroom-like. There were five beds, all lined on the left side of the cabin, and a soft, plush rug that stretched the length of the left side. 

I felt around the side for a light switch, and once my hand lay upon it, I flicked it on. A small, dim but effective light flooded the cabin. The boy who had occupied it before hand looked up in small surprise. He was short—younger than I was, obviously. Brown tousled hair that covered his eyes and hid them from visibility. I had to resist the urge to snicker. The boy had an almost… innocent, naïve look.

"Oh," he said quickly, dropping down his two bags onto the bed he had claimed. "I didn't even hear you come in. I guess you're one of the people I'm sharing this cabin with, hmm? I'm Kenny."

I placed my own duffel bag on the floor next to the closest bed I was standing to. "Hi," I said, still fighting the urge to burst into hysterics. Poor kid… to deal with me all summer. "I'm Tyson."

He smiled faintly, but didn't say anything in response. Instead, he turned and continued to dig through his bag. I shrugged, before sitting down rather gracelessly on the random bed I had chosen and claimed as my own for the summer. Surprisingly, it was rather cool in the cabin—not unbearably hot like I had first originated. And there was even a small ceiling fan at the ceiling of the cabin. Like your every day summer camp? I think not.

Five minutes soon passed to ten minutes that stubbornly remained silent. I had long ago given up on trying to get the kid—Kenny—to open up to me, and was lying back on my bed with a book in hand. I didn't bother to look up with the door to the cabin opened again and two pairs of footsteps made themselves known on the wooden floor. I already figured who one of them was, and hid my head behind my book, stifling a smile.

"This is it?" I heard an unfamiliar voice state. "Woah – pretty nice. Not what I expected at all. And look Rei… two other people are already here."

"Yeah…" Rei said slowly, and I swear I could hear the smile in his voice. "What the hell are you doing, Tyson?"

Eee. Damn. He saw me. 

Well, he probably already knew I'd be here. After all, that camp advisor had announced it over a bloody megaphone, for God's sakes. Oh, well. It was fun while it lasted.

"Nothing," I said lightly, putting the book down. "So, Rei, we're sharing the same cabin, eh?"  


Rei had that goofy smile on his face as he spoke, "You idiot – c'mere."  


I barely had time to move before he tackled me where I lay, rolling me off the bed and onto the ground. I squeaked as he glomped me, patting the top of his head before gently pushing him off.

"Eh, yeah, Rei," I stood up, laughing nervously. "Nice to see you again, too."

"Dude," he said, standing up and shooting me a wide smile, "it has been forever."

I scratched the back of my head, squinting slightly. "Well, actually, it's only been about a week or—"

I cut off upon noticing the person who had entered the cabin beside Rei. I blinked in confusion—it was a chick. A really short chick to say in the least. I towered over her a good couple five inches, and—heh—she was pretty hot. Dark purple hair fell past her shoulders and was braided, and large dark brown eyes were set in an oval face graced with olive skin.

"Hey, uh," I was the first to speak, nodding my head to the side. "The girls cabins are over that way."

I heard Rei groan softly beside me, but I paid no attention to it. The girl's eyes narrowed noticeably, and she opened her mouth as if to speak, before her fist came up.

And that's when my face met the lovely, carpeted cabin ground. 

"I'm not a girl, you idiot," I heard a thickly French-accented voice say above me. 

Owww, shit. That _hurt_. Mouth, you gotta learn to keep shut when you're not for sure on things. Well, actually… I was convinced she was a girl. I looked up, rubbing a hand over my wounded face before coming to a shaky stand. Rei was smiling half-heartedly at me, giving a small shrug. The evil psycho bitched-out purple haired guy was down towards the other end of the cabin where Kenny was.

"What is up his ass?" I snapped, glaring at the back of the bishonen(1) jackass. 

"I made the same mistake, too," Rei replied quietly, sitting down on the bed next to mine. "Don't feel bad. His name is Ripley Alec."

I sniffed, rubbing my nose again. "He didn't have to punch me. It was a simple mistake – anyone could've made it."

"He's really touchy about it," Rei said, running a hand through his hair. "Just don't make the same mistake again… he forgives and forgets quite quickly."

I slowly sank down beside Rei, my eyes still narrowed and my face still throbbing. "Where the hell is the little git from, anyway?" I asked, turning my attention back to my black-haired friend. 

"France, is my guess," Rei said, shrugging. "Noticed his accent, haven't you?"  


I rolled my eyes. "Of course I noticed it. It's pretty damn hard to miss."

Rei opened his mouth as if to say something, but he fell silent. His gaze had turned from me and was currently focused on the door to the cabin again. I turned also when I heard it open, and as someone stepped inside. I frowned – it was a dark-haired teen… who was obviously a lot older than me and the rest of the people inside our cabin. He looked like he was about nineteen or maybe twenty. 

I looked down to the clipboard he held in his hands. Ooh, so this must be our counselor. He looked up, and I took notice of the cool magenta eyes that took in the group before him. Those unnerving eyes glanced over me once, before skipping over to Rei and so forth.

Haha. He was actually kinda hot. Yeah, but that's just me for you. Your "every day" bisexual, sixteen-year-old sophomore kid. With a few advantages and disadvantages, mind you. But I still got my personality, and that makes up for it, right? Well, you'll probably say no with how long you've known me. Ah, hell, forget it. Anyway…

"I will be your counselor," he spoke after a second of silence, closing the cabin door behind him. "My name is Hiwatari Kai, and I'm guessing you're the lot that I'll be stuck with for the next eight weeks."

Heh. He had said "stuck with". Man, I guess he loves us or something. Well, didn't he just seem like Mr. Friendly? Standing there with something like a cross between a scowl and a smirk on his face, and his eyes—damn, looked like he could just glare at you and expect you to melt on the spot. Go figure it to be my like to be stuck with a jackass as a counselor.

"Is everyone here?" Kai said stiffly after a moment, glancing down at his clipboard. "Rei Kon, Tyson Kinomiya, Kenny—I, uh, can't pronounce your last name--, and Ripley Alec?"  


All of us nodded in response, and I felt a grin coming on. Don't know why—I just felt like smiling. Not a bad thing, though, since the whole cabin seemed to be rather tense since Kai arrived. Oh, and I can't _possibly_ imagine _why_.

"So you're Kai, eh?" I began, meeting his gaze. "You don't look old enough to be a counselor."

Actually, that was a lie. I just wanted to see how old he was.  


That cool gaze trained on me, but I didn't flinch under the restricting eyes. "I'm nineteen," he replied smoothly, placing down his clipboard on a dresser next to my claimed bed. 

Aha. I knew it.

"And who are you?" he asked, eyebrow tilted upwards.

"I'm Tyson!" I announced happily, the same smile still on my face. "Y'know, truthfully, I thought counselors we're supposed to not have their head in their ass. No offense, though, man."

I heard Rei take in another sharp intake of breath and release it in what sounded an awful lot like a whimper, but I ignored it. I was still looking expectantly at Kai, the same sugary-sweet smile plastered on my face. Kai narrowed his eyes noticeably, but the blank expression on his face didn't alter. I was really expecting him to say something to me, but instead he turned to look at the others.

"I'm going to hand you each out a piece of paper; it has the rules and regulations of the camp on it," Kai said shortly, although he still had his gaze locked with mine. "After I hand you the sheet, we're to meet outside with the other counselors and the rest of this side of the camp."

When Kai handed me the sheet, I took it delicately, and he brushed past me briskly. After everyone had been handed their sheets and had time to look them through, they reluctantly came to a stand to head outside. I let out a groan when Rei sat up from the bed, tugging on my arm.

"Ugh, I don't want to start walking again," I muttered, but eventually stood up beside Rei. "Gawddamnit, my shoe's untied. Stupid shoe. Go on, Rei. I'll be there in a minute."

I bent down to tie the laces on my godawful sneaker, having the feeling they were purposely untying themselves. I swear, my shoes are the epitome of evil. They untie at exactly the wrong time. When I stood up again, Rei had just exited the cabin, the door closing behind him. Kai, on the other hand, was waiting for me—that same stoic expression on his face.

I offered him another taunting smile, before starting out of the cabin.

Yeah, the keyword there is 'starting', folks.

I hadn't gotten so much within a foot of fresh air, before a vise-like grip on my wrist yanked me back inside. I thought for sure I was going to fall flat on my ass, but a hand pressed against the small of my back held me upwards. I yanked my wrist from Kai's grasp, spinning around to meet the goddamned antagonist himself.

"I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't do that," I snapped, glaring up at him. "Or at least give me some warning, for God's sake!"

Kai's cool-demeanor-mask seemed to slip from his face and was replaced with an obviously pissed off one. Like that was supposed to be intimidating or something? I simply rolled my eyes and folded my arms across my chest, still staring at him. 

"And _I _would appreciate it if you would talk to me with at least a little respect," Kai said quietly, but his voice was firm and left little room for argument. "I am your counselor, and I'd advise you to treat me that way, Kinomiya."

This caused me to roll my eyes again. "Or what?" I retorted, my gaze just as leveled and narrowed as his was. "You'll punish me? God forbid that. It's just like school."

"There are a lot of other things I can do besides punishing you," Kai was whispering now, but with the same deadly intent dripping from his tone. "Trust me."

I was about to respond to that with a "like what?" but something inside me nagged me to stay quiet. Kai had drawn himself closer to me, his nose was inches from my own, and he was still giving me that "I-would-so-kick-your-ass-right-now-if-I-wasn't-the-counselor" kind of look. Psh – like he could anyway. I'd beat that jackass down.

"Whatever," I said loudly, sniffing. "Can I go now? You're wasting my time."

He grabbed my arm again before I could move, pulling me back towards him again. "Remember, kid, I'm not up for your shit," he growled, tightening his grip on my arm. "So don't pull any on me, all right?"

"All—fucking—right." I hissed, pulling away from him again. "I heard you the first time."

I didn't even bother for his permission to leave. I sharply turned on him and stalked out onto the campgrounds, slamming the cabin door shut behind me.

Suddenly, I didn't think Kai was all that hot anymore.

End chapter.

End notes: Alas! I have finished! Praise my greatness! X-x Or throw things at me for not completing the next chapter of When Darkness Falls. XP Whatever. Still, whatever your opinions may be, do review. ^^ It gets my ego all bloated up. O.o Yeah. 

1 – for the people who don't know it, bishonen means 'pretty boy'. 

  



	2. Rule 2: know your target better

Author's Notes: Eee, sorry for getting this out so late. I was in New Jersey for a week. ^^; But I'm back now, so I get to spend all my time writing for this and other stuff. Well, maybe not all my time, but you know. A lot of it. n.n; So, yeah. Next chapter's out. Enjoy.

Regulations of Bad Humor

Chapter Two

By Firefly-chan

For the rest of the day, I didn't do much. Mainly we had to listen to the camp counselors go over several things about the camp and get our cabins settled in and organized. Kai, unfortunately, stuck close to me and the rest of our cabin group throughout the whole day. Ironically, he barely said more than two words to each of us at a time. You'd think since the guy was hanging around us most of the time, he'd at least try to strike up a conversation. But I guess that's Kai for you. Not like I minded, though. I'd rather not talk to the jackass at all.

I'm not saying that I'm afraid of the guy, 'cause I most certainly am not. So don't go spreading around rumors that Kai gets my panties in a bunch, or whatever shit you have in mind, all right? I think Kai likes to think he has this intimidating air about him, but it wasn't working very well for him. Okay, so maybe the rest of my cabin was terrified of him, but they were swayed easily. It was understandable for them, 'cause they probably didn't have to deal with people like Kai every day of their life, like I did.

Okay, so I've got a confession to make. You're the one who wanted to read this divine little tale, so shut up, sit down, and listen patiently. My confession is that, yeah. I'm not the most popular guy at my school. Only have a few friends. People I can trust, otherwise I'm not one you'd find socializing every damn minute of his life. I do pretty well in school—enough so my parents are proud enough of my grades. But the role I play in school?  


Heh. The resident punching bag.

Ah, yes. The hours I spent after school, thrown up against a locker while the shit was being beat out of me. Yeah, I fought back. Never did any good considering the fact that there were always two holding me down while the other kicked my ass. Good times, good times. Rei says that if I would learn to keep my mouth shut—if I wasn't such a "smartass"—I wouldn't be in the position I usually am. It's not like I go looking for trouble—trouble stalks behind me. Always there. Right when I turn around.

Yep. Resident punching bag. That's me.

But at least I stood apart from the rest of the school. Sure, I may have gotten good grades. But that didn't mean that I was a glasses-wearing, quiet spoken kid who minded his own business. Nope, I minded in other people's business and got my ass checked because of it. Honor roll or not, I still stood next to trouble like it was someone I had known for a long, long time. Like one of those friends that you think you can trust, up until they stab you in the back, but you keep running back to them. That's kind of how I am with trouble.

Well, I always kept in mind that at least I only have two years left of school. This fall, I'll be starting my junior year. Juniors have POWER. A lot more than sophomores and freshmen. But not quite as much as the seniors, obviously. Rei always tells me that he worries I'll never even make it to my senior year graduation. Heh. He worries way too much.

The good thing about this camp, though, is that—so far—I haven't seen anyone who loved to square me up before beating my ass down into the pavement face first. But, you know, there were several people who liked to do that. So, being my luck and my guess, I'm going to say that at least one of those people is there. Now I just have to hope the person doesn't gang up on me with other people. Yeah, I'd actually like to be able to fight _back_ for once. That'd be nice.

"—yson! TYSON!" I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard someone yelling my name, looking up from the magazine I held (but wasn't actually reading) and into annoyed amber eyes.

"What?" I asked, blinking up at Rei.

He snatched the magazine from my hands and flung it behind him. I blinked. Well, that was nice. Gee, thanks, Rei. I love it when you harass my magazines like that. Makes me wish someone would toss me around like that – pfft. Oh, but wait—people already _have_. Ah, the irony kills me…

Rei flicked me on the nose, and I pulled back, making a face of clear distaste. "They just called us for dinner, you idiot," Rei said, rolling his eyes at me. "And it's going to take us about five minutes to get to the cafeteria, so I suggest you hurry up."

"Keep your fucking clothes on, man," I grumbled, coming to a slow stand as I stretched my arms above my head. 

I looked around the cabin, fully expecting to see Kai leering at me, but was surprised to see that only Rei and myself were the only ones remaining in the cabin. I shrugged it off, pleased that I wouldn't have to deal with the sad excuse for a camp counselor, pushing myself away from my bed.

With Rei happily leading the way, I left the cabin and entered the hot, sticky air of the outdoors. There were several people still exiting their own cabins, talking to each other in hushed whispers as if they had some kind of secret that needed to be kept for the sake of all mankind. Rei and me, on the other hand, walked in silence for a good couple minutes. And let me tell you, walking in that kind of heat was not fun. The bugs were horrible; every few seconds I had to swat at the damn things to keep them from buzzing in my ears.

"I'm bored," I said abruptly, almost tripping on an unseen rock.

Rei shot me an impatient look. "You're bored?" he repeated unblinkingly. "Tyson, we're going to dinner. What do you want to do? Play leap frog the whole way to the cafeteria?"

"Well, that's an idea!" I said brightly, looking up at him hopefully.

"…Forget it, Tyson," Rei muttered, eyeing me slowly, before looking back at the path in front of him.

I shrugged, sticking my tongue out at my black-haired friend. I continued walking in complete silence for a moment, before coming to a complete stop. I turned—the gravel cracking beneath me as I went—and cupped my hands of my mouth. I saw Rei looking questionably at me from the corner of my eye, but I ignored it. Without any further warning, I yelled, "FBI! EVERYBODY DOWN!"

Much to my disappointment, only two people hit the ground. The rest turned to stop and look at me. Y'know, one of those looks that scream, "What the FUCK are YOU doing?" I smiled at them innocently, raising my hand in a short wave. After a minute, they started back up towards the cafeteria. Rei was staring at me when I turned back to him, eyebrows raised impossibly high.

"What?" I snorted indignantly, brushing past him. "I told you I was bored."

* * *

Okay, I know I've complained about cafeteria food many times before. But camp food—oh, cafeteria food was a pleasant experience compared to THAT shit. I groaned and held a hand over my stomach, flinching as I looked over towards Rei. He seemed to be stomaching the awfulness of dinner just fine, but, uh, I was kind of having trouble.

"We're almost back to the cabin, Tyson," he said softly, pressing a hand to the small of my back and pushing me foreword. 

"I wanna throw up," I moaned, gagging. "I can't believe they make us eat that."  


Rei shrugged, but didn't bother with a reply. We walked in silence like we did only an hour ago when we were starting up for the cafeteria. Only, this time, I had no smart remarks or any ideas to keep me amused. At the moment, I was just trying to make it back to my cabin bed without running behind some bushes and vomiting my little heart out. 

"What exactly are you two doing?"  


… Oh, you've gotta be shitting me.

I groaned at the sound of the painfully familiar voice, clutching my aching stomach even tighter. Rei tensed beside me, before slowly turning around. I didn't even bother. It hurt to move anymore.

"He's sick," Rei said bluntly.

I peered over my shoulder to see Kai standing several feet from us, arms folded over his chest and frowning. Hey, you fucker, I'm trying to make it to the goddamned cabin here. Since when was that illegal? Or have you made up some insane rule in your insane rulebook? Stupid… little… blue-haired…. Smurf wannabe… guy. Argh.

Jeez, I need help on my insults.

"He's sick?" Kai repeated, just as blandly. "What's he sick from?"  


Oh, gee. I dunno. Take a wild guess, Sherlock. 

"Thefuckingcafeteriafood," I ground out, probably too fast and hard for him to understand.

Kai tilted his head slightly, but his lips twitched upwards. "Pardon?"  


Asshole. He enjoys seeing me in pain. 

"Nothing, sir," I tried again, digging my heel into the soft dirt beneath me and spinning around. "Just a stomach ache, is all." 

"All right," Kai said, studying both of us silently for a second before brushing past us. "Then you'll know that after dinner, you head straight towards the showers. Not the cabin. And the showers are this way, kiddos."

… Ha. Ha. HA. Wow, he cracks me up. So much that I'd like to take a tree branch and crack his goddamned head up. Stupid smurf….

"Of course," I growled between gritted teeth, glaring at his retreating back. "We'll be right there, _sir_."

Rei flinched, raising a hand and patting me lightly on the back. I yanked from his grasp, shooting him a dark look, before stalking off unnecessarily slowly in the direction that Kai was going. Rei followed a few paces behind me; obviously wise enough to know not to disturb me when I'm pissed off. 

  
After being to this wonderful place for only a day, I have come to the ruling conclusion that camp really, _really _sucks.

End chapter.

End note – My apologies for such a short chapter. ^^ The next one will be reasonably longer, so yeah. .;; Yep. Review and make a freshman happy. XDD I'm lame. e.e;;


	3. Rule 3: know your target's motives

Author's Notes: … what?

Regulations of Bad Humor

Chapter Three

By Firefly-chan

"Yo, Tyson. Wake the hell up."

I cracked one eye open slowly, and was met with a bright ray of sunlight blinding my view. Groaning, I rolled over, grabbed my pillow from beneath me and yanking over my head. For a moment, I thought I was home free. But after a couple more seconds, I felt a hard tugging on my blankets and my pillow. Aw, come on, man. I just want to sleep. Sleep is good. Damn you for interrupting my sleep.

"You idiot," Rei's voice came from the right side of my bed. "You need to get up. You missed breakfast, you know."  


"Goddamned shame," I snapped back, my face still buried in my mattress.

I heard him sigh at my sarcasm. "Seriously. You're going to get in trouble. We need to be out by the lake in five minutes for attendance, and then we get free swimming time. I know you like swimming, but in order to do that you need to _get out of bed_."

Ugh. I swear. It's either one thing or another that causes me problems. My choice to come to camp was a bad mistake indeed. No sleeping in. Crappy food. Asshole counselors. What in God's name was I thinking? Oh, yeah, SURE camp would be fun. Because, you know, I just love throwing up my food. And being an insomniac. Or being harassed by people who need some friggin' therapy.

I felt another tug at my blankets.

"Fine, fine!" I said huffily, pushing myself from the bed and swinging my legs over the side. "I'm getting up. Happy?"

"No, because you still have to get your swimsuit on and we need to get over to the—"

"Jesus, chill out," I cut him off sharply, suppressing the urge to roll my eyes. "I'm getting dressed now."

It took me one minute to speed dress into my swim trunks and to pull on a tee-shirt. Grabbing my towel, I hooked my arm around Rei's shoulders, and much to his relief, left the cabin. 

** * *

You know what sucks?

No, really. Do you know what sucks?  


What sucks was the fact that it was probably about 10000 degrees Fahrenheit outside, and the lake water was about –10000 below. I sat on the dock, kicking the water beneath me with a bared foot, teeth chattering as I rubbed the warmth back into my arms. Rei, on the other hand, was treading water a couple feet in front of me, black hair plastered down to his forehead, and a visible smile stretching slowly across his face. 

"You look like a drowned rat, you know," he mused loudly, tilting his head back a little.

"I'm n-not going in that w-water," I stuttered, pulling my foot back out of the water and folding my legs beneath me. "It's f-freezing. I'll get s-sick." 

Rei rolled his eyes. "Tyson, you were only in it for about five seconds before you ran back out screaming like a girl. You haven't gotten used to it yet. Now stop being a baby and come on."

"Y-You'll see. You're g-going to get sick, and w-when you do, I'll be r-right there to r-rub it in."

He made a snorting noise, before splashing water at me and then diving out of sight. I grumbled beneath my breath, pulling my towel closer around me. What a bummer. Swimming in the lake was actually one of the few things I was looking foreword to while being at this camp, and then I find out that the water is like ice, even despite the temperature of the air around it. Whatever. I'll never understand damned physics and the laws of nature. 

Surprisingly, a lot of people were out in the water. I frowned and trailed my fingers over the wet wood of the dock. Actually, I was the only person who _wasn't_ in the water.

Huh. Imagine that.

I looked up sharply at the sound of loud laughter. Laughter that sounded suspiciously familiar. Slowly, I glanced over my shoulder, and at first, all I saw was trees and woodland and more woodland and more trees and—wait—what the hell? A beaver? I blinked, shook my head, opened my eyes. Eh. Beaver's gone. Must be my imagination. I continued to scan my surroundings, before finally seeing whose laughter I figured I had heard.

Oh goodie. Kai. 

Okay, Tyson, screw your pride. Suck it up and just don't squeal like a chick when you jump into the water. 

Dropping my towel, I stuck my feet back into the water, before slipping my whole body into it. I gasped at how cold it was, but managed to find a comfortable position behind one of the pillars on the dock. From there, I watched Kai's every move. Just because, you know, it was fun.

For around five minutes, Kai just kind of stood there, talking to some brunette counselor. He was laughing and smiling a lot, which was pretty damn unusual for him, if you ask me. All the time that I've seen him, he was usually scowling or smirking, so you assumed that he almost always had a stick up his ass or something. But, nope, here he was. Laughing and jesting away like he… like he had something to be _happy _about. Pfft. 

Kai paused in his conversation and scanned the lake. I ducked down further beneath the water, flattening my palms against the pillar. After a second, he went back to talking. Huh. Maybe he has a sixth sense or something. Maybe he can secretly hear everything that I'm thinking about him. I doubt that, though. I think he's just a dumbass who think he looks cool by scanning the water looking for people who aren't doing what they're supposed to be doing 'cause it gives him power. Well… technically, he has power since he's a counselor and all. But I personally think he's full of it.

"Hey! Tyson! Look out!"

"Huh?" I looked up in time to see a bright red beach ball flying at me. It hit me right in the face, causing me to choke back a cry of surprise and sink beneath the water for a couple of seconds. Fighting my way back up to the surface, I threw the beach ball back to Rei, sputtering, "What the fuck are you psychos doing?!"

Rei shrugged, tucking the beach ball towards his chest and doggie-paddling back to the circle of people that had gathered towards the middle of the lake. Growling, I wiped the hair out of my face, before turning back towards the pillar and looking out at the lakeside again.

I blinked. Kai was gone. I craned my neck to see if he was anywhere around, before frowning. Nope. Nowhere. Weird. And he was just there a second ago.

"What are you doing, Kinomiya?" a voice questioned rather amusedly from behind me.

I squeaked, startled, splashing around in the water, before eventually managing to turn around and face the perpetrator. Kai was treading water only a couple feet from me, an eyebrow raising steadily. I frowned, sticking my tongue out at him, before backing further beneath the dock until my feet touched the sandy ground. He moved closer.

"Nothing. I just like it here, okay?" I snapped, annoyed at having my privacy invaded. 

"You like being alone?" he asked, moving even closer until he was again only a couple feet from me.

"Maybe."

He paused, still looking at me. I backed away even further until my back was pressed up against the farthest pillar and the water was at my waist. Huffing, I folded my arms over my chest and looked away from me, staring fixedly at the water off to my side. I felt him move closer, felt the air around me suddenly grow warm with his and my body heat combined. I was about to tell him to fuck off when I felt warm, wet fingers grab my chin and turn my head so I met his gaze.

"You have a scar on your neck," he stated softly, eyes drifting down towards my throat before focusing back on my eyes again. "How'd you get that?"

"I'd rather not talk about it," I said, shifting my weight uncomfortably. 

I felt the lightest touch on my neck, and for one horrifying second, I thought he was stroking my collarbone. But as soon as I had felt it, the touch was gone, and common sense told me that maybe I had imagined it. Kai kind of gave me this faint, crazy little smile, before releasing my chin, backing away out from under the dock, before climbing back up it and out of my sight. 

I frowned, touching my neck briefly. 

… Tch. Bastard. I still don't like him.

End chapter.

  
End Notes: Satisfied? O.o; Damnit. You better be. 


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